I Muse, Therefore I Am

There will always be a time in anyone's life when everything seems to be in all the right places, but - there's always a but - you feel as if either something is missing or something is going to go horribly wrong.

Is that what I'm feeling right now? Maybe. Maybe I'm just making conversation with myself because I'm stuck at work (listening to U2's stuck in a moment) without anything to do because I don't have the resources yet.

Has everything falled into all the right places? I don't know. I have a job I don't hate. I have my friends (although one of them has made herself scarce yet again). I have my bickering parents. I'm relatively healthy (for a vampire).

Do I feel like something is missing in my life? Hmmm... I think that for you to feel that way, you kinda have to have an idea about what is it you want. I don't, so the "something missing" part is just that - something missing.

Do I feel like something is going to go horribly wrong? I'm an eternal realist, so the answer is yes.

Another Last Day

I'm on the last day of my communication coaching. It's been quite an education for me. Everyone else has been telling me that I'll do a great job and that it's pretty easy, but for someone who has never even aspired to be in a supervisory position - it's another thing entirely.

Sure, I love criticizing people. But I was never in a position that I could actually make or break their source of livelihood. I mean, with one recommendation I could set into motion something that would change someone's life. I also know that even before this position, I've already been doing that since somehow we're all interconnected and all that, but believe me, when we talk about jobs - that's different.

I'm not making paimportante or anything like that. I guess I'm just nervous. I don't feel as if I have the maturity to be handling anyone else aside from myself. But I have to grow up and this is part of growing up.

Someone once said that courage is not the absence of fear, but confronting that self-same fear.

(Sigh) Wish me luck. I'm absolutely going to need it.